A Second Miracle on Ice?

Thirty years ago today, I was a thirteen -year old kid living in a Washington D.C. suburb, going on with the daily grind of life in the 8th grade.  I guess you could call me a hockey fan, but not like I am today.  I had been to a couple Washington Capitals games, so I knew the basics of the game, but that’s about it.  At school that day, I was dimly aware of the drama playing out in Lake Placid New York, site of the 1980 Winter Olympics.  I paid more attention to the downhill, bobsled, ski jumping, that sort of thing, than hockey.  Considering the U.S. hockey team wasn’t expected to do much, it’s safe to say I hadn’t followed them at all.  The game that took place that afternoon while I played outside would leave an indelible impact on me.  The game was tape delayed, so it could be shown in prime time.  I watched with my parents, two non-hockey fans, who were as riveted to the game as I was.  We watched as Mark Johnson tied the game in the final seconds of the first period on a bungled play by Soviet goalie  Vladislav Tretiak.  When the second period started, Soviet coach Viktor Tikhonov replaced Tretiak with the backup goalie and even non-hockey fans could tell something was amiss on the Russian side.  Two more periods of edge of your seat hockey went by, and to be honest, most of it’s a blur.  I remember highs and lows as Russia moved ahead, then the U.S. tied again, the the go ahead goal by U.S. captain Mike Eruzione with ten minutes left in the third.  Al Michael’s call to wrap the end of the game gives me chills to this day;

“Eleven seconds, you’ve got ten seconds, the countdown going on right now! Morrow,  up to Silk. Five seconds left in the game. Do you believe in miracles? YES!”

We screamed in my house and the screams could be heard in the neighbors houses.  It was all anybody talked about for the next few days.  I haven’t really had a feeling like that in the thirty years that have elapsed since that night…but last night came pretty close.

I had been looking forward to the USA/Canada game for a week.  I was in Vancouver the week before the Olympics started and the level of smack-talking coming from the Canadians was unreal.  Suffice it to say, there was very little respect for our U.S. team.  I, on the other hand, had a healthy respect for the Canadians.  Made up of all-stars, the Canadians are coached by Mike Babcock, the head coach of my beloved Detroit Redwings.  I was hoping for a good hockey game, but held little hope that the U.S. would beat a Red Menace for the new millenium.  Forty one seconds into the game and the boisterous Canadian crowd was hushed by a slap shot score by Redwing Brian Rafalski.    The U.S. took the lead and answered back with a goal every time the Canadians tied the score.  I was in nirvana.  Not only was I getting a grade-A hockey game, the Americans were going to win it.  U.S. goalie Ryan Miller was a wall as the Canadian’s peppered him with pucks. 

     In the end, the U.S. won 5-3 in a game they weren’t expected to win, against a team that was the favorite for the gold.  Sound familiar?  I say was the favorite.  After last night, and a shootout victory against Switzerland in the game before, there are serious questions flying around about the Canadian’s  ability,  while the U.S. is seeded number one going into the semi-finals.  Was it a true Miracle on Ice II?  No, it wasn’t.  There were a whole ton of outside factors that made that victory what it was.  Last night, was simply the finest performance by a United States hockey team since the Miracle on Ice.  Thirty years later, it was fun to share that experience with my thirteen year old daughter, who is a fan, but not a big one.  Last night though, she was as riveted to the game as a thirteen year old boy was thirty years earlier. 

     Turns out, Olympic torches aren’t the only ones that get passed along.

Is it your business? Really?

Tiger Woods is going to make some sort of announcement in less than an hour.  I’m writing this at 10:15 am on Friday, February 19th.  The media is abuzz over what Tiger will say, how he’ll say it and whether his wife will be there.  Will he apologize and will the public accept it?  I’ve got to say, this business of television media I work in, seems to have no end to the ways in which it disappoints me.  This is a frenzy that has been created by the media and continues to fuel itself.  All the outrage being expressed by the public seem to be fed to us by the very media we look to for facts.  In almost every conversation I’ve had with anyone regarding Tiger’s misdeeds, the upshot has been “Why is the media making such a big deal over this?” 

     If I were asked in conversation, or even for an opinion poll, what my opinion was of Wood’s behavior, it would unquestionably be that he screwed up on a nuclear level.  But that, my friends, is where it ends with me.  The man has his issues and his problems and has to deal with them how he has to deal with them.  It doesn’t involve me.  This is the point I think the vast majority of columnists, commentators and pundits are missing.  It doesn’t involve you!  Tiger Woods doesn’t owe anybody but his family or immediate circle anything.  All this talk about how he needs to make a public apology and owes the public an apology is pure, unadulterated crap.  Unless you’re a member of Tiger’s family, he doesn’t owe you shit!  This is a man who has committed some seriously egregious mistakes in his marriage and how he deals with his wife and his family as they cope with the aftermath of those mistakes isn’t anybody’s business but his.  The national media really needs to get hip to this fact. 

     It used to be that breaking in to programming was reserved for announcements of the utmost importance or for a national crisis.  Now, at least one of the national networks has said it will break into programming to carry this announcement, apology, self-whipping, whatever you want to call it.  That’s just sad.  The kids in school to learn what journalism is, are being taught that this is what passes for news these days.  Make no mistake, they will follow suit.  The media is being run today by the people who were in journalism school when O.J. happened.  Look at what it has sown.  It’s not going to get better folks, it’s only going to get worse. 

     Let’s cut it back to the basic facts.  Tiger Woods is a man who gets paid an obscene amount of money, because he is exceedingly good at hitting a little white ball with a stick, and knocking it into a hole.  That’s it!  Nothing more!  He made some serious errors in his marriage.  At this point, you have to ask yourself, why do you care what he does now?  Does it directly affect you?  My guess is you care because the media is saying you should.  If you’re having trouble seeing through that, then the real question is not whether Tiger woods owes you an apology, but when are we going to demand better from the media?

Edited to add:

As it turns out, every network broke into programming with this.  Let me say this again so it’s unquestionably clear.  Every major television network broke into regular programming, to carry a live statement, not a press conference, but a live statement, of a professional golfer apologizing for cheating on his wife.  Now I have a great many friends in the news business who will argue that “It was news, it’s what people are talking about…” and things along that line.   This wasn’t news.  This was merely the continuation of a culture of fascination with celebrity downfall that came into it’s own with O.J. Simpson, and has festered through Bill Clinton, Anna Nicole Smith, Gianni Versace, Michael Jackson, Jenny Jones, Charlie Sheen, etc. 

     Take a moment to think about what real news isn’t going to be covered tonight in your town to make room for analysis of Wood’s speech. Think about what you’re not learning, so you can hear about something that has no effect on your life whatsoever.  When I was a kid, I wanted to be famous…Now I’m beyond thankful that I’m not.

Where’s Simon Cowell when you need him?

I ask this question because we really could have used him last night during Taylor Swift’s performance on the Grammy awards.  Had Simon, Randy and Kara been there, Swift would’ve been greeted with something like this:

Simon(before the song was even halfway over): “Thank you.  That’s enough.  Randy?”

Randy: “Yeah Dawg, ya know, I like your look, but you really need to work on your tone.  It was really pitchy dawg, really pitchy…”

Kara: “Taylor, you’re really pretty, and you’ve got a great personality.  Your songs are catchy but you really need to work on your voice.  It’s just not quite ready.”

Guest Judge Kanye West: “Yo Taylor, I woulda let you finish, but you sing almost as bad as I do.”

Simon: “Taylor, I ask you this in the nicest way possible, are you tone-deaf?  I mean it, you were as flat as Michael Jackson’s EKG.  Let’s vote then, Randy?”

Randy: ” I gotta say no”

Kara: “I’m afraid I’ve gotta say no Taylor, but keep writing”

Kanye: “She’s no Beyonce’.  Jay-Z told me to say that”

Simon: “Well then, I’m afraid it’s four ”No’s”, Taylor.  Thank you.” 

     It would’ve made last night so much more bearable.  This girl who was honored with three awards including Album of the Freaking Year,  carries a tune like it was a concealed weapon.   I’ve seen pretty much every live performance she’s done on television this year and she can’t sing live.  She’s a studio creation.  While this, in itself, isn’t anything new in the music business, it isn’t generally awarded album of the year.  So the Grammy’s are a sales contest, this too is nothing new.  I just find it particularly galling that after performances last night by Jennifer Nettles, and Carrie Underwood, it’s Swift that’s recognized as being this great singer.  And that was just the country singers.  Hell, even Stephen Colbert was more in tune than Swift.  And then to add insult to injury, one of the most distinctive voices in all of rock and roll, Stevie Nicks, comes out, and is insulted by the awful cover of “Rhiannon” perpetrated by Swift.

     I’ll give Swift props for writing her own songs.  That’s great, really, it is.  David Foster is a great songwriter too but has enough sense to know someone else should be singing his songs.  Somebody in Swift’s camp needs to tell her the ugly truth.  Put away the studio tricks, take some singing lessons, or sell your songs to other artists, because last night was an embarrassment.

What’s the big deal, really?

So, Tim Tebow is going to do some pro-life commercials that are going to air during the Super Bowl.  A lot of folks are all upset, and think  the ads shouldn’t be allowed to air, and that CBS should shut them down.  The pro-life group Focus on the Family is coughing up at least two and a half million dollars to air a spot featuring the University of Florida quarterback talking about his mother’s decision not to abort her pregnancy and how it resulted in Tim being granted his life.

     In the interest of full disclosure, I couldn’t disagree more with the pro-life movement.  I am as pro-choice as they come.  Funny thing is, when my wife & I were faced with an unplanned pregnancy early in our marriage, we struggled with what to do.   In the end, neither one of us could live with the idea of aborting the pregnancy, but I will be eternally grateful we had the choice to do what we wanted.   My friend Curt Harding explores this issue with a more Christian outlook at curtharding.wordpress.com

Personally, I think politics has become too wrapped up in this one issue.  The reality is, The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) has ruled, and abortion is legal.  The chances of the court reversing itself are pretty much slim and none.  Let’s be honest here.  Real issues, issues that affect people’s lives on a daily basis, are being ignored because this country is so wrapped up in the abortion issue.  Look at any presidential campaign, abortion is the litmus test by which all other things are judged.  A platform can’t even get off the ground until you declare your allegiance one way or the other, thereby classifying you with an inescapable label.  It’s the political third rail,  and it shouldn’t be.  There are other issues that haven’t been decided  that need attention.  Roe v. Wade, is the law of the land and has been for a generation.  Next issue please…

Another issue that goes back even farther, is freedom of speech.  It’s been the cornerstone of this country since its inception.  This is so simple it’s comical.  Freedom of speech applies to everyone, not just those you agree with.  It means that a group who advocates something you vehemently disagree with, gets to say their piece.  That’s their right as American citizens.  It’s what Americans have fought and died for, for over two hundred years.  If Focus on the Family wants to shell out up to five million of their hard-earned dollars on an ad (if it airs twice) featuring the quarterback of the number three college football team in the country, that’s their choice.  If you don’t agree with the message, it will cost you the grand total of nothing,  to ignore them. 

 Trust me, you’re getting the better end of the deal.

The times, they are a-changin’…

The coverage of the earthquake in Haiti has been the primary piece of news coming from the networks & cable outlets for the past eight days.  Rightly so, as this is a human tragedy almost beyond comprehension.  But even this life changing event hasn’t been able to drown out the interest in what have come to be known as the Late Night Wars, or, more appropriately, the Late Night Wars II.  As a broadcast television professional in the business for 20 years, I find the whole thing endlessly fascinating.   

     I won’t go into the details of the first round of wars some eighteen years ago.  That has been written about ad nauseum and covered to death.  I will say if you’d like to read the best account of the Late Night Wars I, pick up a copy of “The Late Shift” by Bill Carter.  The latest round of battles surrounding ”The Tonight Show” on NBC involve low ratings for Tonight Show host Conan O’Brian,  and the dismal failure of The Jay Leno Show to capture an audience at 10:00 pm.  The abject failure of Leno at 10:00 prompted NBC to move Leno back to 11:30 and bump “The Tonight Show” to 12:05, where it technically becomes the tomorrow show.   Conan O’Brian had an issue with this move, and said he would leave the network.  Over at CBS, David Letterman, who has never been quiet about how he feels he got screwed by NBC after Late Night War I, has been sticking it to NBC, and Leno, in a gleefully vicious way in his nightly monologues. 

     Yeah, I’ve picked a side.  For the sake of clarity, I’m a Letterman man, always have been.  I’ve been a fan of Dave’s from the beginning of “Late Night”  and always liked his irreverent, offbeat style.  Jay Leno’s a funny guy, and has the occasional good joke.  However, I’ve never thought his middle-of-the-road style of humor was that good and I always thought he was appealing to the lowest common denominator.  Not to take away from his success, the man has found his niche, and exploited it for many years.  He’s good at what he does, no denying it, it just never suited me personally.  When NBC sent Letterman to CBS after denying him ”The Tonight Show”, I went with him and never looked back.   Watching NBC flounder in its mistakes of late night programming has been a bit fun.  Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it boys?

     There is one scenario being batted around that has Conan O’ Brian taking his show to Fox and possibly being shown on its cable outlet, FX.  This could be the most likely scenario and not for the reasons most of you are thinking.  Yes, Fox has a broadcast network with a nationwide affiliate outlet, just like the ”Big Three” of CBS, NBC, and ABC, but putting Conan on the broadcast network at 11:00 or 11:30, plays havoc with the local stations who mostly have profitable syndicated programming in those time slots and wouldn’t want to give them up.  This is where Conan could have an edge.  By going to Fox, airing on FX until an affiliate agreement is lined up puts O’Brian in the perfect position to take advantage of  the future of broadcasting…which is the networks ceasing “free” over the air broadcasting and becoming full-blown cable outlets.

     Let’s face it, free TV is going the way of the dodo.  The model the networks run on is simple.  Free television for the masses, subsidised by advertising dollars.  For 60 years, that model has worked just fine.  We are now in an age, however, where advertising simply isn’t enough.  The advent of cable, and “niche” broadcasting has splintered the audience, and simple fee based advertising isn’t going to get the job done on a large-scale anymore.  The failing economy forced the networks hands even farther.  Drops in ad revenues, particularly from the auto industry, has hit the networks where they live.  In response, quality programming and programming development takes a hit.  When “Survivor” made a big ratings splash in 2000, all the networks took notice.  “Reality” programming is cheap to produce, easy to sell ad time on,  and apparently draws in viewers.  You saw a massive propagation of the format, which is still evident today.  Meanwhile, take a look at the quality of programming for drama that began popping up on the cable-only outlets around the same time.  The trend was kicked off by HBO’s “The Sopranos”, which started getting serious attention after it was repeatedly nominated and sometimes won in many Emmy award categories, including best drama.  Other cable programmers took note.  Over the last ten years, shows like “Six Feet Under”, ”Dexter”, “Mad Men”, “Rescue Me”, “Burn Notice”, ”Monk”, just to name a few, have sprung on the cable landscape and have been critical and commercial successes.  Why?  Well, for one, the money to produce and develop them has been there due to a steady, uninterrupted, stream of capital…cable subscription fees.  Add in advertising fees and the cable outlets have it over the networks in spades.

     Will this change happen overnight?  No, and until a couple of months ago, I wasn’t sure it would happen at all.  Then a funny thing happened, Comcast bought NBC.  This, my friends, is an omen, and if you don’t see the writing on the wall, you’re not looking hard enough.  one of the largest cable companies in the world, will have a majority stake  in NBC/Universal and all of its properties.  That includes the main network itself, cable outlets MSNBC & CNBC, and the USA network, Universal Studios Theme parks, etc.  I firmly believe Comcast eventually plans to turn NBC into a cable only, subscriber based network.  Once this happens, watch for ABC, CBS, & Fox, to follow suit, if not do it first

     On the plus side, the network news divisions wouldn’t be so hamstrung financially by the failures of the entertainment divisions to make money.  This might free up the news purse strings a bit and we could see better coverage in more places and not maps, telephone calls, and shaky-ass cell phone video passing for real coverage.  On the downside, free, over the air television would become a thing of the past.  But let’s be honest, has your life been that enriched by “Dancing with the Stars” or ”American Idol”?  Jay & Conan can fight it out all they want, in the end, the one that pays, will be you.

When the Cover redefines the Original( Or why “Avatar” works)

I’ve always found cover songs interesting.  You take a song, that may or may not have been successful in its original release, and put a new spin on it.  Sometimes the new spin is simply a different voice recording the original.  Sometimes the spin is such an awful retelling that the song completely disappears, never to be heard again.  Such was the case of Leatherwolf’s mid 80′s cheese metal take on CCR’s ”Bad Moon Rising”.  It was so bad that even recalling it in my head for the purpose of this sentence gives me the shivers.  But every now & then, a cover is recorded in such a way that it redefines the original.  It is so completely different that it becomes the definitive version of the song.  Such instances are rare, but when they come along, the music is something to behold.  The most notable, to me anyway, of these songs is Jimi Hendrix’s version of Bob Dylan’s “All Along The Watchtower”.  The Voodoo Chile himself did such a masterful job reinterpreting the Dylan classic, that Hendrix’s version is the one most associated with the song.  There are other, not quite as  famous, examples.  Jeff Buckley’s version of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”,  Crosby, Stills, & Nash’s take on Joni Mitchell’s “Woodstock”,  and just about any Dylan song covered by the Byrds,  fits the bill.   The phenomenon is less prevalent today than in years past.  Oh sure, covers are still being done, and some are done quite well, but there hasn’t been one of those game changers , the one you end up preferring over the original, in some time.  This routine of covering originals isn’t limited to music though.  The practice is very much alive in the film world as well, which brings us to the purpose of this essay.

     I’m not a film critic.  I’m too biased.  I don’t go to movies looking for the deeper meaning, or many of the other things that critics all seem to look for in a film.  I go to be entertained.  I like to be told a good story.  I like to forget about whatever’s occupying my brain for a couple of hours & get lost in someone else’s world.  If I stumble upon a deeper meaning, or a greater truth along the way, well, that’s a bonus.  Sometimes, the film’s deeper meaning is an advertising point, so you know going in, there’s the purpose of your enlightenment.  Sometimes. it’s simply cotton candy, nothing of substance, but it tastes good and is fun to eat.  I like many films and I don’t think I’m picky enough to be a good film critic.  That is why it feels unnatural for me to be writing about a film I saw yesterday, but it made a big impact on my psyche, and I usually write about such things.  It’s a way of getting my thoughts clear, and helping myself understand what I’ve seen.  What I saw yesterday, was the cinematic equivalent of an incredible cover song,  Jim Cameron’s Avatar

     My friend Steve & I, both have similar criteria when judging a cover song.  To be listenable, it better bring something new to the table.  Avatar does that, and then some.  What is the original being covered, you might ask?  Avatar is a pretty close copy of Dances With Wolves.  Now, Dances With Wolves was a great film.  I love a good western and Costner delivered in spades.  Cameron’s film has enough originality to it that it isn’t a note for note copy, but the themes and plot are so similar, that the comparison isn’t off base by the longest of shots.  What makes Avatar different, noteworthy, and a redefinition of the story, is what Cameron has brought to the table.  I’ll simply call it the visuals. I could go on for days, in detail, about the advancements in depth-of-field, motion capture, graphics, et al.  Suffice it to say, the visuals, are simply stunning.  Those of you of a certain age will remember walking out of the theater after seeing Star Wars for the first time, and saying “Wow” over & over again.  Those of you of a younger age may have had a similar feeling after seeing The Matrix for the first time.  This film had passages that had me literally trying to catch my breath.  The last time a film left me breathless was “Saving Private Ryan”.  The Omaha Beach scene pushed you back in your chair & didn’t let you breath until Tom Hanks & Co had safely secured their position.  The difference was, Private Ryan was standard filmmaking portraying actual events with unflinching realism.  Avatar takes your breath away because you’ve never, ever, seen anything like this before. 

     This isn’t a review, and I won’t recap the film except to say, if you’ve seen Dances With Wolves, then your familiar with the plot.  It’s a commodity you’re familiar with, and have seen before.  Cameron’s visuals are so involving, you’ll forget about any short-comings in plot.  I saw it on a regular sized screen, in 3D, and was drawn in instantly.  I’m now very excited about seeing it again in IMAX.  The critics have taken to beating up on Cameron for his weakness in plot and dressing an old story in fancier clothes.  I would submit to you, isn’t that exactly what Hendrix did with “All Along the Watchtower?”  And now, is Hendrix’s version not the definitive version of the song?  Hendrix redefined the electric guitar and how to use it.  I think Jim Cameron has done the same thing for the cinematic experience.  Go see this for the experience, see it with an open mind, and very widely open eyes.  Go see it with the appreciation that you’re going to see something amazing…

…Because you only get one chance to see something for the first time.

Can We Defend Against This?

My main source of income is as a satellite uplink engineer.  That’s a fancy way of saying I drive the big satellite trucks with the clamshell dishes you see springing up at most major breaking news events across the country.  I’m based in the midwest and work for whichever network hires me first.  I’m on call 24/7 because you never know when major news will hit.  It knows no boundaries as far as time of day and holiday.  It has, and will continue, to disrupt my life at inopportune times.  All of this is to say, when my phone started ringing, late in the afternoon this past Christmas Day, I was neither shocked, nor surprised.  December had been a really slow month, so why wouldn’t it get busy on Christmas day, which happens to be my, as well as my daughter’s birthday?  Fate’s a little funny that way.  What was a surprise was the content of the call.  Someone had tried to blow up a packed airliner en route to Detroit, and had set himself and maybe a part of the plane on fire. 

     As I listened to the news on the drive to Detroit, it became clear that the plane was not on fire and landed safely.  No one was injured except the would-be terrorist.  I thought for a moment that this wouldn’t be a big deal, but I quickly realized that on a traditionally slow news week,  the networks were going to milk this baby for all it was worth.  I usually pack for a longer trip than I expect to take, and this time was no exception.  You never know what’s going to happen that’s going to keep you on-scene for God-knows-how-long.  I got myself situated at Detroit’s Metro Airport with a lovely vista of Delta planes all sitting at their gates, for a background shot.  I met my crew from CBS news, and was delighted to find them a talented, capable, and funny group of broadcast professionals.  Over the next four days we did live reports for the CBS Evening News, CBS Sunday Morning(one of the best programs on all of television), The Early Show, as well as reports for a barrage of local CBS affiliates.  Long hours, but made better by the crew who were a group of genuinely great people.  Believe me, it doesn’t always work that way. 

     As the information came in, and we learned more about the man whom I dubbed, and will be hereafter referred to as “Abdul Firepants”, a picture, and many more questions began to emerge.  The picture showed that this man was not stereotypically Al Qaeda.  He was not of Arabian descent, he didn’t harbor “The Look” that many screeners use in profiling for a terrorist.  There were, as have been reported, a great many signs that this guy was one to watch out for.  It can be surmised that officials for the airlines as well as officials on the ground,  failed miserably in their efforts to weed these people out of the system.  This failure, led to a series of responses that may make it safer to fly to the U.S. in the short run…but it’s the long run which concerns me.   

     It is unknown whether it was a failure of the device or a failure of its execution that caused the bomb in Abdul Firepant’s trousers to simply set him on fire, rather than blow up the plane.  What is known, is that it didn’t work, and the device set its carrier on fire rather than create an explosion that, given where the terrorist was seated, would’ve brought flight 253 to a catastrophic end.   After weighing the information I knew, I came to a somewhat disturbing conclusion.  Is there a way to defend ourselves against people like this?  In Al Qaeda’s own statement, they said they were sending men “Who cherish death, as much as we cherish life”.  Can we defend against this?  If you’re dealing with men who aren’t afraid to die, is any safeguard ever enough?  You can set up all the screeners and scanners in the world, will it matter?  I’m sure, in the short-term, it probably will, but these guys will figure out ways to fly with bombs surgically buried within their bodies, where a scanner may not pick them up.  Then what?  An even bigger concern,  is whether these people who wish to do us harm, will realize the airline industry is too tightly watched now, and try something else.  Want a nightmare scenario?  Operatives infiltrate organizations which transport fuel in large tankers.  Imagine 10 to 20 operatives nationwide, who in a coordinated effort, drive their fuel heavy trucks into high school gymnasiums on a Thursday night, when the gyms are packed with people watching high school basketball.  The trucks are then detonated.  Scared yet?  These are the kind of people we’re dealing with. 

     One thing we have going in our defense, is vigilance.  I have a friend, who is a retired Navy SEAL.  He now works a government contractor, who comes up with terrorism scenarios that the Feds train to discover, defuse, and derail.  The interesting thing is, my friend says they have to build in the screw-ups & mistakes that the terrorists will make, in order to be discovered.  Makes me glad the SEALS are on our side.  We are watchful, we are vigilant, and we are good at correcting mistakes that have been made, or fixing holes in our defenses.  I’m just saying we need to make sure our guard stays up.  They’re not always going to be a shoe-bomber or a crotch-bomber, or some other poorly executed attempt at high-stakes murder.  Sometimes, they get through, and we are all too familiar with the results, when that happens.

Somtimes, It’s all in a sentence…

I was hanging with my friend Dave not too long ago.  I was lamenting that my wife, a woman of nearly 40 years, had never seen “It’s A Wonderful Life”, the Frank Capra classic about how a single, seemingly ordinary life can affect so many others.   This was a fact of some consternation to me.  I had tried over the years to get her to watch it with me but nothing had ever worked.  My wife, by all indicated behavior, has some irrational fear of black & white movies.  Dave and his wife Marla decide that perhaps wrapping the film inside a social visit might work better.  A plot was hatched. 

     We went over last night, along with our kids, who get along famously with Dave & Marla’s and enjoyed a fine meal.  Dave cooked traditional Latkes( potato & onion pancakes fried in oil to commemorate the oil in the Hanukkah ceremony ) along with vegetables & non-traditional ham.  A quick word about Dave & Marla.  Dave was raised Jewish and Marla was raised Episcopalian, but later converted.  They are not what you’d call ”hardcore” about their faith but do celebrate both Hanukkah, as well as Christmas.  Dave just loves the pageantry and the traditions of the faiths.   When they were first married, Marla was a little concerned about Christmas, in that, she was afraid she’d never celebrate it again.  She came over to Dave’s to find a fully decorated Christmas tree.   They fully understand that I’m an agnostic who flirts with atheism,  but lives in a house full of Catholics, and they’re cool with it.  In short, Dave & Marla are my kind of people.

     Well, we watched Capra’s masterpiece and it was as good as it has been every year since its release in 1946.  I got teary-eyed at the end, as did Dave.  I got a kick out of watching my wife Jen pick up on some cultural touchstones that came from the film, particularly Bert the cop, and Ernie the taxi driver, and how they had loaned their names to a couple of puppets about 20 years later.  I think Jen now has a favorite Christmas movie.  And, If I may pose a question to the men out there, seriously, how hot was Donna Reed back in the day?  The hour was late and we needed to get our kids in bed, and as we were packing up Dave had the line of the night:

“Married 16 years and you had to bring her to the Jewish house to see the Christmas movie!”

     We all laughed out loud, said our good-nights, and retired for the night.  Dave’s joke got me thinking though.  It brought me back to a discussion I was having with friend and fellow blogger Curt Harding( curtharding.wordpress.com).  Curt’s a staunchly Christian fellow who disagrees with me on a great many topics from religion, to politics, to ideology.  The thing about Curt is, we laugh together.  Same with me & Dave.  I firmly believe that if people can laugh together, no matter how far apart they are on the outside, they are actually closer than you can possibly know.  Curt & Dave would get along great, I’m sure of it.  So I’m left to ponder this:  If a Jew, a conservative Christian, and a godless liberal, can all laugh together, then what’s the problem, really?  It makes one wonder, couldn’t we just get everyone together, tell some really good jokes, and then see where we stand?  Stupidly idealistic?  Perhaps, but Saturday Night Live is still on the air and that makes me think anything is possible. 

     So, thank you to Dave & Marla for taking my family in, feeding us,  and exposing my wife to the magic of George Bailey and Clarence.  And thank you particularly to Dave, for reminding me that what we have in common, can be much more powerful than what separates us.  A lesson we would all do well to remember this Friday.

The Power of a Father’s Love

I have been following the story of David and Sean Goldman in the press ever since it began to get national attention.  For any of you who don’t know, David Goldman’s ex-wife Bruna who was a Brazilian native, took their son Sean to visit relatives in Brazil when Sean was five.  She never returned.  She obtained a divorce in the Brazillian court system and re-married a politically connected and well-to-do family.  Bruna ignored an order by a New Jersey court that ordered Sean be returned to his biological father.  David Goldman began a grueling fight against the Brazilian government to follow international law and get his son back. 

     Under other circumstances, this would be another unfortunate child custody case.  However, in 2008, Bruna, who had become pregnant, died during childbirth.  International law and conventions signed at the Hague by both the United States and Brazil, dictate that the child was to be returned to his biological father.  The well-connected Brazilian family stalled and used their political influence to drag out the proceedings, never letting David Goldman see, or talk to his son.  Now let’s make sure we all understand something.  David Goldman is not an abusive father.  He’s not a child molester, or someone who Sean Goldman needs to be protected from.  David is a man who loves his son and wants to have him back in his rightful home. 

     Soon after the Obama administration took up residence in Washington, the case caught the attention of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.  It flowed up from there, to President Obama, and it has caught the attention of Brazilian President De Silva.  The case was moved from the local municipalities to the federal level and It was ordered that David be allowed to see Sean.  After more waiting, Delaying and stalling by the Brazilian family, a three judge panel finally ruled earlier this week that Sean was to be returned to his biological father as soon as possible.  David, cautiously optimistic, flew to Brazil to hopefully retrieve his son.  Unfortunately, you can guess what happened.  Sean’s adoptive family filed one more injunction, that was granted by a single judge on Brazil’s Supreme Court.  The injunction says Sean’s testimony should be heard.  The Brazilian court goes into recess this weekend until February.  It would seem that justice delayed for David Goldman is indeed justice denied.

     What is happening here is utterly despicable.  This is nothing more than a well-connected family trying to force its will over international law.  One wonders about Brazil as a whole because of this sort of thing.  Goldman’s wife decides that what is tantamount to kidnapping is the only way to get what she wants.  She meets a man who is known to give lectures on how to stymie international law in cases such as this.  Did anybody honestly expect anything different from the family she married into if her own moral compass is so out of whack that kidnapping is the primary option?What’s wrong with this picture?  This is a country that wants the attention of the world for its effort in hosting the Olympics in 2016.  What they are doing is showing the world that they think the rules don’t apply to them.   A similar case happened on our shores back in 2000.  A young boy by the name of Elian Gonzalez was the focal point of a custody battle between a father, who was in Cuba, and members of his extended family who lived in Miami.  When the courts decided that Elian had no legal standing here and had to be returned to his biological father, the extended family refused.  The U.S. sent armed soldiers in to retrieve him and return him to his biological father!  That is how international law works. 

     My admiration for David Goldman grows every time I see him on television.  This guy is so calm, so collected, so in touch, it’s almost unbelievable.  He’s been excited and let down so many times that patience has become a way of life for him.  He has learned to expect to be disappointed.  The moxie that takes is beyond my comprehension.  If it were me in his shoes, I’d have done something nuclear by now.  My hat’s off to him.  I believe, as do three separate psychologists who have examined Sean Goldman, that Sean is being damaged by the Brazilian family’s attempts to brainwash him.  The time for stalling is through.  In the end, Sean will be ordered to be returned to his rightful father.  It may take until February, but in the end, I’m confidant the Brazilian government will rule in David Goldman’s favor.  The entire affair is giving Brazil a black eye.  How big the bruise gets is now in the hands of Brazil’s Supreme Court.  In all actuality, Sean’s step family has already lost.  Lower courts have already set precedent . What the step family is doing now  is pure vengeful spite, and the one being damaged the most by it, is the one who is the most defenseless against it.

What did I do to deserve this?

20 years ago this past September, I was followed home from work by a couple of ladies, one of whom was interested in my roommate, Jeff.  Jeff wasn’t home but I invited both the girls in for a drink, because I’m a nice guy like that.   Monica, the girl who was after my roommate, I knew from around campus and was a nice enough young lady, but it was her friend Jennifer that caught my eye.  Jennifer and I had met when we both lived in the dorms.  We had some mutual friends but that was as far as our relationship went.  We all had a few drinks in the apartment there, and Monica and Jennifer went on their way.  For me, however, the die was cast.  Something about Jennifer stuck with me.  This was a lady I wanted to get to know better. 

Turns out, Jennifer’s roommate was dating a friend of mine.  Now this friend, who shall remain nameless, didn’t have that great of a reputation with Jennifer, but it was my only way in.  I probably would’ve been more successful with a cold call, but I figured I had an angle, and I was going to use it.  After much hemming and hawing, I convinced Jen to go on a date with me.  It wasn’t particularly stunning date, dinner & a movie, the normal fare.  Although she did fall flat on her ass in the restaraunt parking lot.  I tried so hard not to laugh, my lip bled from biting it so hard.  What was different was what happened afterwards.  We talked.  We talked some more.  We talked even more, drove around and talked even more.  This was someone extraordinary.  6:00 am rolled around and we were still talking.  We finally called it a night, I took her home and we made a date to get together for some boating later in the day.  No kiss goodnight and I didn’t care.  My dating experience up to that point had been one bimbo after another.  Jen  was the one who had brains, looks, and a fantastic personality, all in one package.  I felt like Morpheus, I had found The One, and Jen was way better looking than Keanu Reeves.

     A little over four years later, sixteen years ago this very day, Jen walked down the aisle and met me at the alter and we began our married life together.  Along the way she gave me three of the most beautiful girls this world has ever seen, put up with a move away from her hometown (where she’d spent almost her entire life), along with many other trials and tribulations.  Like most married folk, we’ve had our good times as well as our bad.  We’ve wondered whether this was all worth it, and we’ve held each other in bed at night as dog cuddles at our feet, knowing without a doubt that it is.  We’ve seen the best and the worst of each other, laughed and cried together, lived the dream together.  We’ve argued politics together, often taking the opposite position just for the sake of the argument.  We held hands as the towers fell on September 11th, then took the girls out to lunch in an effort to show that everything was okay. 

     16 years ago today, we pledged each other our love for richer or poorer( I’m waiting patiently for the richer part to come).  We’ve watched our families change & grow, we’ve watched as people have come into, and out of our lives.  We’ve watched life seemingly slide out of control, but with each other’s love, we were able to steer through the skid and come out stable on the other side without ever going off the road.  What did I do to deserve this woman?  I was a hellion growing up.  I followed the terrible teenager textbook chapter & verse.  There was a while where I was a  sonofabitch.  What did I do to deserve this woman? 

     The only thing I can come up with is that someone decided I was worth the bet, so they sent me Jen.  I now have to earn her, every day.  Some days I do better than others, but the spirit is always there.  Jen has been the best thing that could happen to a guy like me.  Wicked ugly cliche’, I know, but there really isn’t a better sentiment  so I’m going with what fits.  Where I’d be without her is a scary thought.  I’m not a religious man but I like to think I’m spiritual.  Looking back on where my life was going 20 years ago, and where it went after I met Jen, made me realize something.  You never see the crossroads when you’re standing on them.  You always think they’re something else.  Jen came into my life and said “I’m going this way.  Why don’t you come along with me?” 

 Thanks for being my guide, my best friend, my lover…my wife for the last 16 years.